Sunday, May 9, 2010

Swirling Thoughts #138 – water (but not ice) is crucial on a hot day

I’m not sweating the small stuff – even if my kids are
It was 35° today so why shouldn’t Rosie have gone off to gan in her snow boots? Well, for one, 35° here means 95° Fahrenheit. But don’t tell Rosie.

There’s more to me than ‘illiterate immigrant’!
I may pick up my mail once a month (and then let it sit, unread, for another month, all the while feeling really bad about it) but if I want some quick and easy self-satisfaction, I do the Jerusalem Post crossword puzzle. All it requires is some experience being an American (6 across: newsman Geraldo_______), some experience being Jewish (4 down: from Passover to Shavuot we count the _______), and some cursory knowledge of American pop culture (21 across: ‘the gloved one’ Michael ________). It’s feel-smart therapy for the otherwise illiterate immigrant.

Remind me why I needed an advanced degree in Economics?
The grocery store clerk tells me what’s best for me economically. Really. There was a slight discussion about which sale item I should take advantage of – the tub of humus for 5 shekel or 2 packs of water bottles for 10. I say slight because ‘discussion’ implies two people giving input. In our case it went like this:
Clerk: No I will not give this to you (the humus). Take the water. It is better for you. Economically.
Was it economic analysis or did he just know about the pending heat wave? I wonder if he could complete the JP crossword. In any case, he was not relenting.
Me: Okay then. I’ll take the water.

What better way to start a 35°C day than with Israeli breakfast?
Israeli breakfast includes eggs, bread, chopped side salad, choice of cheeses (or tuna or avocado), one cold drink and one hot drink. No matter where you order Israeli breakfast, it will not deviate far from this benchmark. But what do you do if your cold drink is not cold enough?

Bob: Do you have ice?
Waitress: Why do you want ice?
Bob: The drink is not cold.
Waitress: It is cold. I took it from the refrigerator.
Bob: But it’s not cold enough.
Waitress: It is very cold.
Bob: I like it colder. I like it with ice.
Waitress: You don’t need ice.
Bob: Can I have ice?
Waitress: No. There is no ice.

Welcome to Israel. Where water costs more than fuel and ice is an indulgent luxury. Where the grocer and the waitress know what you need better than you do. And where absolutely no one will comment on how your kids are dressed for gan.


  1. love it!!!! You always make my day....!

  2. or...... can i have ice?
    of course!

    and then you get a cup of ice - in the heated cups over the coffee machines....aka WATER!!!!

  3. Lisa,
    enjoying your blog as a preview to future events! looking forward to seeing you in Israel-
    pnina (michal's sister:)