Please let lice NOT be the punishment for chutzpah!
I received a special invite to my daughters’ taekwondo class (in response to my daughters’, ahem, exemplary behavior – so exemplary, in fact, the instructor required me to come witness it myself…). As I sat on the sidelines watching 25 girls line up and then run and kick with all sorts of sound effects I couldn’t help noticing how close all the kids stood to each other in line. And how their hair, loose after a whole day of school, was almost touching. I began twitching and itching my own head thinking how much better it is when we don’t have all the details of our children’s comings, goings and lining ups.
Are fat pregnant women a protected class? Can I poke fun if I am one?
I’m like caricature of myself – each night I sit down on my club chair with my feet up – either to write or to read. Next thing I know I am awoken by my own snoring. And I’m all sweaty. From that exercise of breathing. No matter how cold it’s gotten outside.
It’s actually cold outside
Bob made me repeat myself when I gave him the weather report over the phone. He didn’t believe the words “It’s cold” were coming from my mouth. The khamsin departed as did most of the zvuvim in ulpan class. I don’t think I got any new mosquito bites last night but I am curious to know the temperature at which mosquitoes really truly disappear.
I will get my act together eventually – just don’t tell John Stossel about me
When the kids were recovering from their sick day I kept them home. Since they were, in essence, recovered, I took them with me to the makolet to do my weekly shopping. They informed me they like “Milky” – an Israeli chocolate pudding with cream on top. You can eat the cream first or mix it all up and then eat it. Always hoping to add new things to the lunch menu, I popped them into the wagon. I tried putting Milky into the lunches today as a special snack but the girls saw it and insisted on eating Milky for breakfast.
Sugar, ahh, Honey, honey, You are my candy girl, And you got me wanting you.
Honey! Ahh, sugar sugar!
(One of my favorite Israeli dancing songs from summer camp)
No tut for you!
There are Israeli moms who are so on top of their kids’ sugar intake – not even a pink tut marshmallow will cross those kids’ lips. The health food store here is busier than any I ever saw in Brooklyn. It’s like the people who’ve been here for some time are keenly aware of the sugar and fat conspiracy that is going on in Israeli food production. (We’ll leave the discussion about the fat content of milk and cheeses for another day.) I’ve been in houses where there is no juice – just water. Because, unless you squeeze it yourself, “juice” in Israel is liquid sugar! We are still so thirsty here we have a whole refrigerator filled with “juice”. Sour apple, mango, peach, minty lemonade, and of course the variety of iced tea flavors they created here for Nestea – pineapple mango iced tea, peach iced tea and (hard to come by) regular old lemon iced tea.
I am so far removed from the role of ‘health-conscious Israeli mom,’ I could be the subject of a 20/20 interview on horrific nutrition. ‘So, Mrs. M – when did you decide salami was a good source of protein for your growing boy?’ (I gave Ash a hug this morning and I could swear he had the smell of salami coming from his pores). ‘And your growing girls, Mrs. M – when did Milky and cream cheese sandwiches become their primary sources of calcium?’ ‘Mrs. M – are you aware than potato borekas are not considered a vegetable?’ ‘Tell me, Mrs. M – do your children even HAVE a dentist?’
Oh, voice of John Stossel inside my head, please stop! I’ll try to do better, I promise!
Benatayim, here are the Archies, singing my theme song!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CP_mn1739rM
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